And so the anxiety begins...

So as most of you know, school starts this Tuesday.
And on a more personal note, my anxiety starts this Tuesday also.
The first day of school is always a hard day for me. I worry too much about what I'm going to wear, what i'll look like, and how people perceive me. (The list goes on.) The days leading up to school are usually spent in bed, packing my school bag, and watching tv trying to figure out ways to get my summer back. But I guess there really isn't a way to stop time.

My anxiety feeds off the thought that people are going to judge me. I really don't like looking people in the eye when I'm walking by, or talking to people out of my comfort zone. Also, if I happen to need to drift out of my comfort zone, my face will start to turn red and i'll stutter or try to talk too fast and worry that I'm making a fool out of myself.

This year, I'm planning on changing all of this. I wan't my last two years of high school to be something I will want to remember when I'm older. This means I will have to endure drifting slowly out of my comfort zone by talking to new people, looking them in the eye, and walk with my head up. I know most of these things seem so harmless to most people, but the feelings are amplified for me. It is a physical struggle for me every day to stop looking in the mirror wondering if I look okay. Because truth is- not everyone is going to like who I am, how I act, or how I look; and that's something I'm going to need to accept.

I thought I would change all of this by first starting to say Hi to people I normally wouldn't talk to. This is such a small step for most of you, but a very hard one for me. After I feel comfortable doing this I might be able to hold a conversation with someone.

I'll be sure to share my process with you guys, and I hope I can help some of you if you are feeling the same as me.

See you soon! xx